By Marie Buchanan, M.Psy.
I thought to share with you the conclusions I came to concerning my very life and this is going on my mind since around November 2007. (Ashley died in December 2006) Please let me know what you think.
Like the Apostle Paul I had to come to the conclusion to not care about my very life on this planet (no suicidal plans here) if I want to really do something really meaningful with it:
Acts 21:13Then Paul answered, What mean ye to weep and to break mine heart? for I am ready not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.
Acts 21:12-14 (in Context) Acts 21 (Whole Chapter)
Acts 21:13Then Paul answered, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus."
My plans are to help my dear Americans (my late husband was an American) to flee this coming bloodbath in the US. For that very purpose, I need to not really care to put my life on the line to save others’ like Jesus did put his life on the line to save my very soul. I thought it was a curse to not have any ties whatsoever. But what if it is a blessing from God instead? I mean…why pursue the idea of having a husband when I already lost a wonderful man and I have all the reasons of the world to believe that he was INTENTIONALLY MURDERED?
Why bother? I mean…why settle for less than what I already received from Ash, DUH me??? Ash really and truly loved me in a Christ-like way, I would NEVER GET THIS BACK from ANYBODY ELSE based on my own experience since November 2007. Why not have the same attitude than the Apostle Paul towards his own death? (we are not dying, we are going to sleep to be resurrected for a better life) So… if I would not mind to be murdered in the process of helping others who have families, wives and children, I would really be useful for my dear Country, America. Even if I am in Canada and even if I am born in Quebec, the first person who loved me for real was an American and as the Quebec motto is: "I remember" "Je me souviens".
I am not going back and I will not back down nor back off. I really and truly am a soldier – Christ soldier, serving her Master at her best. Jesus through his Holy Spirit kept saying to me that the route I was taking is not EVEN worth to be considered so why bother? Like it is written:
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Matthew 19:11-13 (in Context) Matthew 19 (Whole Chapter)
In Matthew 19:12, Christ describes three types of people as unfit for marriage, namely those who have been castrated (which all exegetes take as indicating eunuchs); those born incapable (congenital eunuchs) and those who, by their own free choice and for the glory of God’s Kingdom, abstain from marrying (voluntary celibates).
(I am not referring to the FORCED CELIBACY THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH IS IMPOSING TO THE NUNS AND PRIESTS AND WHAT THE BIBLE CALLS THE DOCTRINE OF DEMONS
1 Tim. 4:
Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
2Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
3Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
but to the VOLUNTARY CELIBACY) I do not care of how much years on this earth I have left but to have a meaningful life. Like Jesus said and I am paraphrasing: "there is no better love than to give up your life for your friends".
your sister Marie